@singularity
8 months ago

If we learn from our mistakes then why we are afraid to make mistakes?

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Because some mistakes have consequences we'd rather never have looming over us. Sure we learn from mistakes, but learning from it doesn't make it all okay or make the consequences of the mistakes go away.                 
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According to  Martin Antony, Ph.D , professor of psychology at Ryerson University and co-author of  When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough , “Generally, fears are influenced by both our biological and genetic makeup, as well as our experiences.”



We model what we see, Antony said. He gave the example of parents expressing their fears over making mistakes, which a child, like a sponge, soaks up.

The messages we receive from others, including friends, employers and the media, also play a role. “The constant pressure to improve performance can have the effect of triggering fears of underperforming and of making mistakes,” Antony said. He added that constant criticism has a similar impact.

Having some fear of mistakes can be a good thing, Antony said — it can help to improve your performance. But excessive fear causes problems. For instance, you might start avoiding fear-provoking situations. “[People] may avoid social situations (meetings, dating, presentations), for fear of making some sort of blunder, and they may procrastinate for fear of not being able to complete a task perfectly,” Antony said.

Or you might engage in “safety behaviors” to prevent making mistakes. Antony defined safety behaviors as “small behaviors to protect oneself from perceived dangers.” So you might spend hours pouring over your work to make sure it’s mistake-free.

Source : psychcentral
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We are afraid of the consequences of making the mistakes and that is what actually hold most people back.

Unfortunately the school system install this fear within us by punishing us by our mistakes instead of praising us by our accomplishments. If an F student studies hard and gets a D, he still gets punished while if a B student gets an A even if he or she haven't studied more than usual, it gets more praise than the F student. That teaches us that we'll be punished if we commit mistakes and the only way to get praise is not to make mistakes at all. 

That is TOTALLY MESSED UP!

When we learn to walk we makes mistakes (a.k.a.) fall and nobody (fortunately) punishes us. When a baby falls the parents actually incentives the baby to try again and praise the new trial. That's why most of us can walk.

The same thing happened when we were learning to talk. We made "mistakes" and pronounced everything wrong but when we were corrected that was made with love, not punishment and that's why we can talk.

As you can see, we are born without this fear of making mistakes and that's why we are so successful when we are young. The problem is that the school system (and society) condition us to believe that mistakes are bad things and should be avoided at any cost.

You were born fine.
Then you got defined by society, by school, by your teachers, etc.
So it is up to you to refine yourself.
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No Pain No Gain? That's a Painful thought!!!

Mistakes are undesirable and looked down upon.. However, there is NO way in the world to never make any mistakes and yet become great or even average in what you chose to do for a living or even something just for fun!!!

ALL Masters in their form of practice have made tons of mistakes be it small or big but have surely done so before and for reaching that level of mastery.

There is no escaping mistakes as that is how we learn and evolve...
The issue is with the consequence of that mistake.. sometimes it's perceived and sometimes very real.. in either case it's the pain of not getting things done right that deters people from performing certain tasks.

People who lack the strength to withstand and outlive the consequences are the ones who are afraid of mistakes.. or in certain circumstances it's the situation where there is no longer any scope of failure that makes one fear a mistake..

It's also the fault of our upbringing... we are always taught to learn from our mistakes but when a child does make mistakes for whatever reasons s/he gets scolded and reprimanded instead of counselled. this leads to the fear of failure seeping into our minds as little ones which manifests itself when we grow up...

So dear parents be very careful in raising your children.. first you learn to accept a mistake and then also start teaching your kids... for some people it's extremely difficult to admit a mistake let alone rectify it.. but this attitude of acceptance and rectification is crucial for that child to grow up as a more responsible and forgiving person.. make no mistake on that!!!



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Because of the Perfectionism. We like to think we don't need to make the mistake to learn and we can do it all perfectly first time.
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Mistakes still aren't good things, we learn from them so we don't make them again, we shouldn't the afraid to make mistakes as long as our intentions are good but you still need to be cautious so you don't hurt anyone or yourself.                 
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  • We can learn from natural mistakes but when learning is built upon the platform where ones learning is supposed to be derived from supposed lessons to be learned by giving them no other option but mistakes( meaning no matter what they will stumble over artificially created failures) though they may learn the thing you wish them to , they most probaly will learn a host of things either unseen or worse intentional side effects, such as effort is futile , low self esteem , paranoia, lack of trust the will to continue, feelings of complete awkwardness uslesness.hatred in extreme forms etc…

  • Mistakes made and reflected upon of a natural nature more than often promote better insight of. Ones strengths and weakness, teamwork communication skills and trust for these are the very tools one must utilize in seeking knowledge ,advice or instruction where they may be lacking..
  • Example ,should I find eating a piece of toast a bit dry from lack of butter, or perhaps a bit to soggy

  • from an abundance of butter, I could implore upon another their reccomendations, or Being that o es taste in food is a personal matter, I could discover through my own daily breakfast ritual of preparing toast until I managed to prepare it how I prefer it
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Because it shatters the illusions we have about ourselves and how competent we are.
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We dont like learning i gez haha
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Some mistakes are so big you don't come back from them, so you want to be careful with that attitude that it's okay to make mistakes.
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